Do you have an outfit (or several) that you just never seem to feel good in? For me that outfit consisted of at least 3 tee shirts and a few pairs of sweatpants. Although I love the "idea" of a white shirt and all the crisp, fresh, clean things I associate with them, they just don't look good on me. The white makes my skin look yellow and my freckles look muddy, and it makes me look, well....wide. The other two tee shirts were a light blue and a red one. Neither looked particularly good on me, but they were on sale. And I got them at The Gap which I considered to be very fancy indeed. I owned all of the above for about five years, until it finally dawned on me that I felt unattractive every time I wore them. In fact, I think the final straw was when I wore the red one with a pair of khakis to Target and couldn't figure out why I kept getting strange looks. It turned out it was because I was actually wearing the Target uniform! I'm sure everyone was wondering where my name tag was and why I wasn't being friendlier to the other customers! As for sweatpants--does anybody actually look good in them?
Once I realized why I felt so unattractive, I decided that I would just do the simple thing and throw them all away. I couldn't believe how easy it was! And I had just ensured that I wouldn't have to feel like a slob in public anymore! Empowered, I also threw away my baggy sweatpants. Then I had a radical idea. Why not move on to the rest of my wardrobe? Why not get rid of everything that didn't make me feel good, or that I knew wasn't in fashion (even if I secretly liked it just a bit).
I replaced all my tee shirts with nicely cut and fitted Merona ones from Target. In fact, I believe I have one in almost every color. Except white, of course! My ugly jeans with baggy knees have been replaced with always cute-and-sassy capri's. I have stocked up on yoga wear, which is nicely cut, nicely fitted, and looks so much more polished than slobby sweats. Now, no matter what I grab out of my closet, it's guaranteed to look nice.
I strongly suggest that you go through your own clothing, and with your most critical eye decide if something really looks good or not. If it doesn't, donate it and replace it with something nice. If you are on a budget, as I always am, it's still possible to replace what you need to. I think I purchased all of my new things for under $200, over a period of several paychecks. I have found most of my things from places like Target, Ross, Wal-Mart, and the like. The only item I can think of that cost more than $10 are my Levi capri pants!
As for shoes, my goodness! Get rid of the worn flip-flops and the graying sneakers! They have such lovely sandals these days that go with everything. Pick something up in a neutral color with a little heel. They take no more effort to put on than a pair of flip-flops, but they look a million times better.
Some people don't wear make-up, but I find it necessary to fool people into thinking that I don't have beady eyes! I have it down to an art and it takes no more than three minutes to put everything on. The first minute I do my foundation. I use a mineral makeup that L'Oreal recently put on the market. The second minute I do my eyes. A quick swipe of eye liner, some brown eye shadow on my lids and some pearl-pink to blend everything together and make it look nice. Then a little mascara. The last minute I use to apply some blush, bronzer, and my lip gloss. And I'm finished in less time than it takes to make popcorn.
As for hair, don't be afraid to try color (it will grow out!), a dramatically different cut (it will grow back!), or some new accessories (headbands are back in! Yay!). Last time I got a cut I asked the stylist for something above my shoulders, with layers around my face, and lots of movement all over. She gave me a perfect cut that I don't even have to blow dry. I'm sure your stylist can do the same if you ask for it.
Looking good, even all of the time, doesn't really take much effort if you plan. If you don't own any ugly clothes, you will never wear ugly clothes. If you have a good hair cut and a head band or pretty elastic, your hair will always look good. If you have just a little bit of make up, but know how to use it, you will always look fresh and well-rested.
And if I, a mother of three-under-four, sometimes single, never well-rested,
budget-minded, full-time student, frequently frazzled homemaker can look good darn near all of the time, you can too.
I promise!
Showing posts with label Femininity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Femininity. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
What Your Husband Wishes He Could Tell You
Have you ever found yourself sitting with your beloved in front of the tv? You're clipping your toenails before flossing your teeth. You're wearing that hideous floppy grey flannel robe and your legs hairier than a lumberjack's. And then you find yourself wondering why the romance is gone.
Unfortunately, many of us settle down with our spouses and gradually fall into a cycle of not really caring if our husbands see the nitty-gritty of our personal hygiene. This is often the first step in the infamous "letting yourself go" that every bride swears on her life she will not do.
But "letting yourself go" is an awfully vague statement; one that's sometimes very hard to define. But if you already have, you probably recognize it. So how do you remedy it? I'll give you a few specifics I feel are important, but feel free to add or subtract things according to your lifestyle and habits. It may not be pretty, but it's some things that need to be said plainly.
Let's first get the really yucky stuff out of the way!
Never, ever, EVER use the commode in front of your husband. That is just disgusting, and I am shocked not only by how many women do it, but also by how many talk about it! A few seem to think that this proves the openness of their marriage and how "comfortable they feel around one another." I think it shows a serious lack of respect. If you wouldn't do it in front of a guest, you shouldn't do it in front of the man you love most. And if you feel you absolutely must, please refrain from speaking about it to others, especially at play group! On a related note, during your "lady's days" never rinse out your delicates and leave them in the sink to soak. No one but the owner of the delicates should ever see them in a less-than-pristine state. When you throw away anything that you may use in conjunction with your lady's days, please make sure it's wrapped up tightly in toilet paper so that nobody has to look at disgusting things sitting on top of the garbage. Once again, it's just yucky. If you have to use the bathroom for more than just powdering your nose and freshening you lipstick, make sure you are kind enough to spray a little freshener into the air. If you have to--ahem--poot--please do him a favor and leave the room first. Go get a glass of water, check on something in the kitchen, but don't just sit there and do it in front of him. This also falls into the if-you-must-do-it-don't-talk-about-it-at-play group category.
Okay, now on to something that's not quite so crude!
Don't let your legs get all horrible and hairy. I am well aware that nobody actually likes to shave their legs, but try to get it done at least twice a week. Personally, I do mine on Saturday (so they're ready for pantyhose at church on Sunday) and Tuesday. Shaving your legs in front of him is okay, shaving anywhere else is not. Logically he knows that women are hairy in the occasional place, but he'd desperately like to pretend they aren't; that they are just naturally smooth and silky where necessary.
Brushing your teeth in front of him is usually okay, but flossing is not.
Painting your toenails in front of him is okay, scraping the crusty callouses off your feet is not.
Putting on perfume; okay. Putting on deodorant; not. Again, he desperately wants to pretend you smell like a rose all the time and never have to worry about something as unfeminine as odor.
Things that are also okay include showering with lots of bubbly, scented body wash, lolling about in a hot bath, putting on make up, fluffing dusting powder over yourself, and doing your hair.
If you want the courtship to continue after marriage, it is so important to take the time and make the same effort you did prior to your wedding. Most men will appreciate these little efforts. Many will reciprocate by treating their wives not as a roommate who shares a bed, but as a companion and lover.
Try it for youself!
Unfortunately, many of us settle down with our spouses and gradually fall into a cycle of not really caring if our husbands see the nitty-gritty of our personal hygiene. This is often the first step in the infamous "letting yourself go" that every bride swears on her life she will not do.
But "letting yourself go" is an awfully vague statement; one that's sometimes very hard to define. But if you already have, you probably recognize it. So how do you remedy it? I'll give you a few specifics I feel are important, but feel free to add or subtract things according to your lifestyle and habits. It may not be pretty, but it's some things that need to be said plainly.
Let's first get the really yucky stuff out of the way!
Never, ever, EVER use the commode in front of your husband. That is just disgusting, and I am shocked not only by how many women do it, but also by how many talk about it! A few seem to think that this proves the openness of their marriage and how "comfortable they feel around one another." I think it shows a serious lack of respect. If you wouldn't do it in front of a guest, you shouldn't do it in front of the man you love most. And if you feel you absolutely must, please refrain from speaking about it to others, especially at play group! On a related note, during your "lady's days" never rinse out your delicates and leave them in the sink to soak. No one but the owner of the delicates should ever see them in a less-than-pristine state. When you throw away anything that you may use in conjunction with your lady's days, please make sure it's wrapped up tightly in toilet paper so that nobody has to look at disgusting things sitting on top of the garbage. Once again, it's just yucky. If you have to use the bathroom for more than just powdering your nose and freshening you lipstick, make sure you are kind enough to spray a little freshener into the air. If you have to--ahem--poot--please do him a favor and leave the room first. Go get a glass of water, check on something in the kitchen, but don't just sit there and do it in front of him. This also falls into the if-you-must-do-it-don't-talk-about-it-at-play group category.
Okay, now on to something that's not quite so crude!
Don't let your legs get all horrible and hairy. I am well aware that nobody actually likes to shave their legs, but try to get it done at least twice a week. Personally, I do mine on Saturday (so they're ready for pantyhose at church on Sunday) and Tuesday. Shaving your legs in front of him is okay, shaving anywhere else is not. Logically he knows that women are hairy in the occasional place, but he'd desperately like to pretend they aren't; that they are just naturally smooth and silky where necessary.
Brushing your teeth in front of him is usually okay, but flossing is not.
Painting your toenails in front of him is okay, scraping the crusty callouses off your feet is not.
Putting on perfume; okay. Putting on deodorant; not. Again, he desperately wants to pretend you smell like a rose all the time and never have to worry about something as unfeminine as odor.
Things that are also okay include showering with lots of bubbly, scented body wash, lolling about in a hot bath, putting on make up, fluffing dusting powder over yourself, and doing your hair.
If you want the courtship to continue after marriage, it is so important to take the time and make the same effort you did prior to your wedding. Most men will appreciate these little efforts. Many will reciprocate by treating their wives not as a roommate who shares a bed, but as a companion and lover.
Try it for youself!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Eating Like a Lady
Since I was about 20 I have struggled with my weight. I have never been obese, however I have often flirted with numbers on the scale that make me uncomfortable. I have tried Slim-Fast, medication, Atkins, calorie counting, fat-free foods and meal replacement bars along with a host of others. You might say that I have more than enough experience yo-yo dieting than I care to admit!
It's with joy that I can finally announce that I think I have cracked the secret to a healthy, maintainable weight. I have been eating differently ever since I got pregnant (at about 15lbs overweight) and have gained almost nothing. In fact, I weigh now at 9 months pregnant just about the same as I did at my heaviest point. It's all due a shift in how I view my daily diet.
I invite you to think back in time to books you have read, movies you have watched, or your Grandmother's account of what ladies used to eat during their days. I cannot remember my (very formal) Grandma ever recounting how she used to have a breakfast of low-carb bread with fat-free margarine and a banana-flavored protein shake. Her meal used to consist of hot oatmeal with brown sugar and cream, or perfectly cooked eggs with buttery toast and tea. One of my mother's favorite memories is of the time she was walking home from school in the rain. To her surprise, she saw my Grandma coming down the road the opposite way. In her hands she carried a tray covered with a tea towel. Under the towel were warm homemade scones and hot chocolate, so that Mom could have a nice warm snack on that cold walk home. I can guarantee the scones were smothered with butter and the hot chocolate was not made with skim milk. Think of the ladies at the ultimate feminine meal--afternoon tea. Can you imagine them eating low-fat chips made of dehydrated potato pulp? How about watery, bland fat-free cottage cheese on a fat-free cracker? Of course not. Ladies used to eat the most delicious food in tiny quantities and feel perfectly satisfied. In fact, to make a proper sandwich for a tea party most vintage recipe books will specify that cream cheese or butter should contain more fat than the regular kind!
It's with joy that I can finally announce that I think I have cracked the secret to a healthy, maintainable weight. I have been eating differently ever since I got pregnant (at about 15lbs overweight) and have gained almost nothing. In fact, I weigh now at 9 months pregnant just about the same as I did at my heaviest point. It's all due a shift in how I view my daily diet.
I invite you to think back in time to books you have read, movies you have watched, or your Grandmother's account of what ladies used to eat during their days. I cannot remember my (very formal) Grandma ever recounting how she used to have a breakfast of low-carb bread with fat-free margarine and a banana-flavored protein shake. Her meal used to consist of hot oatmeal with brown sugar and cream, or perfectly cooked eggs with buttery toast and tea. One of my mother's favorite memories is of the time she was walking home from school in the rain. To her surprise, she saw my Grandma coming down the road the opposite way. In her hands she carried a tray covered with a tea towel. Under the towel were warm homemade scones and hot chocolate, so that Mom could have a nice warm snack on that cold walk home. I can guarantee the scones were smothered with butter and the hot chocolate was not made with skim milk. Think of the ladies at the ultimate feminine meal--afternoon tea. Can you imagine them eating low-fat chips made of dehydrated potato pulp? How about watery, bland fat-free cottage cheese on a fat-free cracker? Of course not. Ladies used to eat the most delicious food in tiny quantities and feel perfectly satisfied. In fact, to make a proper sandwich for a tea party most vintage recipe books will specify that cream cheese or butter should contain more fat than the regular kind!
Reduced-calorie, fat-free, artificially sweetened foods are a fairly recent invention. As the consumption of these "foods" has increased, so have our waistlines. Doesn't this seem ironic? It does, however I believe the reason we continue to get fatter despite all these new options is because our bodies have not changed over the years. Our bodies know what real food is, and crave it insatiably when we fill them with such artificial junk. Thus, when we eat these horrible fake things they try to compensate my forcing us to eat more and more, in an attempt to satisfy our need to be nourished. We have been designed to find fat tasty, because it's a substance that we need to stay alive. Our wonderful bodies will not be fooled by chemicals and flavors that it knows are not the real thing.
I have adopted this philosophy for myself. I no longer buy anything labeled "low-fat." The original versions taste better, and a smaller amount will bring satisfaction. I invite you to try it for yourself; make an omelet from that awful fat-free egg substitute they sell in cartons and dump on some fat-free cheddar. Put some low-carb bread in the toaster and then spread it with fat-free margarine. To contrast, make yourself a perfectly cooked soft boiled egg. Place it in one of those dear little ceramic cups, break off the top, and sprinkle a pinch of sea salt directly onto the creamy yolk. Toast up a hefty slice of crusty country bread and spread with real butter. Cut it into slices so you can dip it into the yolk. Now, which is tastier? Which satisfies with fewer bites? Which to you feel more ladylike eating?
This morning, as I have for many other recent mornings, my breakfast was a large bowl of strawberries, sprinkled with real sugar and drizzled with a generous amount of cream. With all the fat and sugar I have been consuming, the people at Jenny Craig would likely fall off their chairs to warn me about how fat I'm going to get.
Eating well will be my little weight loss secret.
I have adopted this philosophy for myself. I no longer buy anything labeled "low-fat." The original versions taste better, and a smaller amount will bring satisfaction. I invite you to try it for yourself; make an omelet from that awful fat-free egg substitute they sell in cartons and dump on some fat-free cheddar. Put some low-carb bread in the toaster and then spread it with fat-free margarine. To contrast, make yourself a perfectly cooked soft boiled egg. Place it in one of those dear little ceramic cups, break off the top, and sprinkle a pinch of sea salt directly onto the creamy yolk. Toast up a hefty slice of crusty country bread and spread with real butter. Cut it into slices so you can dip it into the yolk. Now, which is tastier? Which satisfies with fewer bites? Which to you feel more ladylike eating?
This morning, as I have for many other recent mornings, my breakfast was a large bowl of strawberries, sprinkled with real sugar and drizzled with a generous amount of cream. With all the fat and sugar I have been consuming, the people at Jenny Craig would likely fall off their chairs to warn me about how fat I'm going to get.
Eating well will be my little weight loss secret.
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